It's a beautiful crisp day here in Northern California. The sun is out and the sky is blue. I slept pretty well and I am grateful for that. We had a wonderful week in Nashville Tennessee but traveling seems to take a toll on me these days.
I used to travel almost every other week for my job. Most trips were short and I enjoyed them and enjoyed time with my colleagues & my team. At Intel I got used to hopping on airplanes whenever it was necessary and didn't think much about it. Now it's not so easy. The early flight meant that I would have an early wake up. I have a hard time falling asleep so getting up at 5:30am is not my favorite. But we were heading to Nashville for the Country Music Awards, so I was beyond excited!
The flight out wasn't so bad, we arrived in the evening and went straight to the hotel. We met up with one of my best buddies, Laura, and her husband John. We all had a wonderful evening. The next morning however, I felt horrible. I was very tired and my typical dull headache was intense. So, instead of pushing myself, I slept and rested until I felt well enough to function. Being with my Intel family motivated and inspired me. Bob and I were there because of them (thank you Connie) and their kindness to include us at the event. I'm very grateful for that and for the chance to see my friends and their spouses again.
It's very frustrating to travel across the US and then not be able to enjoy all the sights and activities we had planned. But I am not going to let Alzheimer's define me or keep me from my dreams. Attending the CMA's has been on my bucket list for many years. I've been invited to attend before but said no. I'm not saying no to anything I want to do anymore!! Even if it means I take a day or two to acclimate my body after the flight or time zone.
Thankfully I felt great on Wednesday, the day of the CMA's. It was the 50th annual award ceremony and the Bridgestone Arena was packed! I was smiling head to toe and overcome with gratitude. The line up was incredible. We saw Alabama, Garth Brooks, Brad Paisley, Tim McGraw, Carrie Underwood, Beyoncé, Trisha Yearwood, Keith Urban, Dolly Parton, Faith Hill.......just to name a few. Our seats were pretty far away but we didn't care. We were there...in person...at the CMA's in Nashville. The home of country music💕
As I try to analyze and think about what I did, it comes down to judgement. I knew the Bart train was about to leave and instead of waiting for the next train, I took a chance and tried to defy the odds. Was that bad judgement? Has my judgement declined because of Alzheimer's? Or was I just tired and anxious to get home?
I'm not sure I will ever know the answer, but I do know that my decision making is not as effective as it used to be. And that I need to be smart and ask for help.....something I don't always like to do.
It's a long journey and every day I learn more about what living with this disease is like. But as I mentioned before I won't let it define me and God willing, we will be in Nashville again next year💜