So here we are. Home from Maui and deep into the holiday season. For us, that means Christmas. We have the tree up and most of the presents wrapped and under the tree. The house is nicely decorated both inside and out. We are excited to see our grandsons next week, and Kristen and her boyfriend. We plan on celebrating on Christmas but if the kids can't come over until the 26th then we will wait. This holiday is all about them. All about making things seem as normal as we can. To have fun and focus on the good things. Our goal is to open gifts and spend the rest of the time playing and laughing and enjoying each other. Oh, and eating of course.
Hawaii was magical as always, and we had a marvelous time. We traveled to Lanai and shared memories of our wedding at the Four Seasons with our friends. We went to the beach, we walked, we swam and we enjoyed our time away. This year it was all about spending quality time with people we love.
I needed to nap during the trip. I needed to rest, to be alone and to decompress. I love my friends and my family but I am learning about my limitations and what I need to do to keep my energy up. We were also dealing with some tragic family issues and the stress probably knocked me out as well. I did the best I could and I was surrounded by people I love, and who I know love me. What more could I ask for? They let me rest when I needed to rest and never questioned my decisions to end the evening early.
I did have a long recovery after we got back though. I think today was the first day I've felt well since we returned. I've been sleeping during the day, exhausted and actually pretty sad. One day I didn't leave the house at all. I've been crying at times but not uncontrollably. The pain is close to the surface. If I distract myself and keep busy, I'm ok. If I knit and watch TV, I'm good. But when I close my eyes and try to rest, my mind races and brings up the sadness we are dealing with.
Thankfully I have support and friends and family. I have my faith and know that God is in control, not me, and that he is looking out for all of us. I will continue to lean on the people who I know can help me, and trust that things will work out the way they were meant to. I am not in control at all. I can only control myself and I'm doing that by surrounding myself with goodness and family and people I love.
Christmas will be different this year, but it will be wonderful. We will make sure that it is. Our focus will be on Ryan and Michael and loving them and ensuring that we all have a wonderful time. ‘Family First’ is one of my motto's. We are having a turducken so I know the meal will be amazing too. I haven't let Alzheimer's define me, get me down or ruin my spirit. I'm a fighter. I can handle this current situation too. I know I can and I will!
Happy Holidays to all of you. May your family time be filled with blessings, love and laughter. And I hope Santa brings you what you asked for🎅🎄
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