I fight for a cure for me & our amazing children❤️

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Change is not my friend

Change is not good for me. Stress is not good for me. I get nervous and scared and today I broke down and cried. I mean really cried outloud with big tears.

We decided to remove the wall to wall carpets in our bedrooms and replace them with hardwood floor to match the rest of our house. I was very excited! It sounded like a great idea and it was fun picking out new area rugs to put in our bedrooms. But the fun stopped there😓

It took one day to do each bedroom. Yesterday wasn't too bad when they worked on Ryan & Michael's room (aka guest bedroom). But this morning at 8am they arrived and had to move all the furniture out of our master bedroom so they could remove the carpet. It was early and I was in my workout clothes and happy to help with the little things. Things got really ugly and stressful when I realized that my cat Rusty had to be locked in the garage all day, and that my crazy Siamese cat Monty was hiding. The front door was open for the workers so I was in a panic. Rusty was crying and that didn't make things any easier.

I finally calmed down and needed to rush to get ready for my Alzheimer's support group. But I couldn't get ready!! All my clothes and shoes were blocked by the bedroom set that we moved to the bathroom. For a normal person that wouldn't have been a big deal and you would have found a solution, but I was in a panic! We easily rectified this by moving everything out of the bathroom so I could get my clothes out of the closet and I took a shower in our guest bathroom since Rusty was in our Master bath. Whew .... ok I survived but was stressed out.

I soon realized that I wasn't really ok. I hate change, chaos and cats meowing.  At my Alzheimer's support group when it was my turn to talk I couldn't stop crying. I'm still crying about it as I type this. I love my cats and I was so scared something was going to happen to them. I was in panic mode all day. It was painful for me to leave knowing that Rusty was trapped in the garage and Monty was hiding. I also think I was crying because change and disruption to my normal schedule stresses me out, and that is a very vivid reminder that I'm not the same person I was two years ago.

I'm better now.....but the house is still a mess and the bedroom gets painted tomorrow. I still can't find Monty but I'm pretty sure he didn't escape. He's too much of a scared cat. Rusty is ignoring me but happy to be in the living room looking at the birds outside.

Tomorrow is another day and I hope it's peaceful and calm without stress! Taking things one day at a time for sure and trying to give myself the same grace I give others💕💗

1 comment:

  1. Pam,I'm sorry you had to feel such strong emotions but I'm very grateful you are able to write about them. Sharing your unique inside-out viewpoint will help others understand ALZ.